Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In

Not An AAR Options · View
King of Men
Posted: Saturday, May 27, 2017 7:46:40 AM
 Legatus legionis

One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

Joined: 11/23/2007
Posts: 8,393
Location: Nowhere
So I said I wasn't going to write an AAR, and I'm not. This is not an AAR. It's just a couple of random thoughts I had, which I admit are at least loosely related to the latest megacampaign - otherwise I'd post it on my other blog - but which do not form any sort of cohesive narrative. So, to start us off, a dank meme:



That's two campaigns as the Ynglings, one as the MacRaghnalls (whom I intended as a Scots dynasty, but I lost the war with the English player and ended up as King Over the Water), and now this one as the Ynglings again. (That is, a custom dynasty named 'Yngling', not the historical ones.) I have not decided whether these Ynglings are an independent timeline, with no relation to the quantum-travelling ones except for the usual Many Worlds one, or if my starting character is from a different timeline. If the latter, he is here as a private individual on a theme holiday, having some fun with axe, shield, and longboat before returning to his regularly scheduled oppression of strils and invasion of other technologically-advanced timelines. Thus, no introduction of high-tech bioweapons this time around, thanks. He may have brought some pheromones and libido increasers for the concubines he no doubt expects to acquire, but that won't have any game-visible effects.



Harald Yngling, 872. Not outside the range of normal human variation; but also not incompatible with being the product of some centuries of eugenics and formal education in both war and personal combat.


Because the editor of our savegame is an idiot who made a save that crashes on saving if more than a year has passed, the start of the session was long delayed as we scrambled to reintroduce our custom characters and realms. Our actual play time was only five years; all I managed to accomplish in that period was to accumulate some money from raiding my immediate neighbours (who were conveniently busy invading England) and oppressing my peasants. I do have an actual plan, however: The first step in conquering the world is obviously to unite Norway, currently split into eight petty kingdoms including my own. ("Little bits of kingdoms cannot stand against their foes".) I have therefore taken the King of Norway ambition and attacked the historical Yngling ruler to my north, after seizing his petty-King title to give me a de-jure Duke claim; I have beaten his army and the siege is about half over. The rest of the wars will be subjugations.

Once the nation-building project is complete, I will follow the traditional Yngling strategy of "Omnidirectional Opportunistic Aggression", attacking whoever makes the mistake of turning their back on me. Sweden cannot be allowed to be a threat; England is a traditional hunting ground for Yngling imperialism; so is Germany; Finland is our rightful possession; so is Denmark; and there is no particular reason that strils in other parts of the world should be allowed to keep their stuff, either. The Yngling version of the old conundrum about trees falling with nobody to hear goes: "If someone cannot defend his possessions against a raiding party, did he really own it, or was he just taking care of it for us until we found it convenient to come get our things?"

Read my blog.
Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
King of Men
Posted: Saturday, June 03, 2017 5:53:27 AM
 Legatus legionis

One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

Joined: 11/23/2007
Posts: 8,393
Location: Nowhere
You try to parse this text as prose, but then you see how the scansion goes, and now you're stuck with singing it, so screw ya! It's definitely no AAR, it doesn't pass the poetry bar, it's just some words that scan like Hallelujah! (Hallelujah, hallelujah...)

Becoming king is the easy part, you gotta show some guts and heart, and Wessex with no levies seemed to draw me; they did find plenty of allies though, I sailed back north with naught to show, I looked about to raise another army. ('Nother army, 'nother army...)

I did my best, there wasn't much, my vassals thought I'd lost my touch; they said, "In truth, the Wessex AI fooled ya". But even though that went all wrong, their army wasn't all that strong, I raised a mercenary Hallelujah! (Hallelujah, hallelujah...)

Comrades, I'd been there before; but now there was that ticking warscore; I needed something fast to keep things going. The siege was close, but two days slow; the offer came, a king brought low; my salty curses rapidly were flowing! (Curses flowing, curses flowing...)

All-Father Odin sits above, and when the putsch came to the shove, the Council found they didn't have his favour; but civil wars are of no use, for even when you win, you lose; I gave him no atrocity to savour. (None to savour, none to savour...)

Prepared invasion was in vain; the ally swarm was too insane; I looked for softer targets for expansion.
Against the pagans to my north, I swiftly marched my levies forth, and that concludes my Hallelujah scansion! (Hallelujah...)



Timeline of events in Norway this session:

Unification of Norway: June 10th, 879.
Norwegian Invasion of Wessex: May 881.
Battle of Lindsey: June 881.
Norwegian Retreat from Wessex: July 881.
Second Norwegian Invasion of Wessex, Now Also With Mercenaries: May 882.
Siege of Lindsey: May 882.
Ticking Warscore Peace of Lindsey: July 3rd, 882.
Hypothetical Surrender of Lindsey: July 5th, 882.
First Norwegian Council Revolt for More Power: August, 882.
First Norwegian Crusade Against the Lapps In Search Of Easier Targets: May, 883.

Read my blog.
Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
King of Men
Posted: Saturday, June 10, 2017 7:43:56 AM
 Legatus legionis

One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

Joined: 11/23/2007
Posts: 8,393
Location: Nowhere
This week I'm feeling particularly lazy, and am just going to post some bullet points of things that happened in the session - that is, events I found amusing, interesting, or otherwise noteworthy; I'm not going to list every poxy little war against random one-province pagans just to make 500 words. (No, really. It was 600 words even before I wrote this intro.) I did go to the trouble of making up a name for each event, in the style of such famous events as The War of the Tapestry and the Malmø Rising.

Events in Norway:

The Perkele War, ca 900-910: Although gaining its nominal war aim, the county of Agder, and burning a large part of Sweden to ashes (which is always a worthwhile goal), Norway fails to accomplish Finnish independence.
Tough As Old Oak: Harald survives, successively: A duel, pneumonia acquired during the duel (I literally got the cough event between the starting and ending duel events; presumably they had gone out in a midwinter storm dressed to settle their differences), camp fever, food poisoning, and dysentery; also three court physicians.
A Surfeit of Lions: Multiple people mistake the banner of the Duke of Skåne, which is gules a lion rampant or crowned or, for that of Norway, which is gules a lion rampant or crowned or bearing a halberd or bladed argent. The halberd is important, people! (Admittedly it's not very visible at the scale of CK2 banners.) Much hilarity ensues; the piteous plea of Finland not to march Norway's army in Halland into the (nominally hostile) Finnish army in Viken is particularly amusing, except to the Finns. The more so when you know that this was Finland's third or fourth army, which they couldn't really afford. Norway's response: "What army?" Fortunately for Finland, the Scanians headed for Scotland (which at that time was having two civil wars, an adventurer invasion, and was at war with Norway) rather than helping out their liege.
The Scottish Ploy: While Norway is at war with Scotland, a band of adventurers shows up, roughly the size of Norway's and Scotland's combined royal armies. They swiftly seize control of a county in Moray, upon which the king of Scotland recognises their adverse possession and they become his vassals while still having their troops. Scanians and Norwegians both beat a hasty retreat. Fortunately the ticking warscore catches up with the Scots before they can siege back their counties.
Lapp It Up: The last few independent domains in northern Scandinavia are conquered.
Killing the Shrew: The third time I caught my wife, the Witch-Queen of some obscure barony in the Ukraine, plotting to kill my sons by other women, I decided that there were limits to what I'd put up with for a Quick trait that hadn't even passed on to her children. There is now a new queen in Norway.

Events elsewhere (just the ones I noticed):

A Kingdom Once Again: Unification of Ireland.
Little Bits of Kingdoms: England is split between five different independent nations (and Scotland is two, plus the Norwegian possessions); Jorvik, which once looked set fair to conquer the whole island, has been hammered down to a few provinces which retain their independence because they are occupied by different invaders none of whom have 100% warscore.
March to War on Rome: Mark, our Italian player, became the first to run afoul of the 150-holding max-realm-size rule. In the interest of minimising GM work, we enforce this rule by a triggered modifier (for humans only) which gives a large malus to vassal relations. Mark, unfortunately for him, expanded his realm by means of a large AI Duke winning a war (and who pays attention to the doings of large AI Dukes?), and didn't notice that all his vassals hated him until two-thirds of Italy was in revolt. We will change the realm-size limit to be implemented by events, so that they are more noticeable and also more gradual.

Read my blog.
Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
King of Men
Posted: Saturday, June 17, 2017 6:58:38 AM
 Legatus legionis

One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

Joined: 11/23/2007
Posts: 8,393
Location: Nowhere
As noted, I'm not writing an AAR. These are just some things that happened during the session, given names and described in, I hope, moderately amusing language.

  • The Oak Breaks: Wrestling the giantess Eld, old age, even mighty Thor had to bend the knee - or so the Elder Edda claims; it is not clear whether the pre-Christian Norse told this tale. Be that as it may, Harald finally died in 923, at the ripe old age of 73. While leading his troops in the field.
  • The Brothers' Quarrel: In accordance with immemorial custom, Harald's estate was split evenly between his sons; in particular, Tyke called "the Holy" gained the fertile valleys of eastern Norway and the title of King, and Valdemar "the Just" was given the bleak north, which is still, however, rich in fish and furs and fighting men. So when Valdemar gathered the great men of Norway to his cause, and demanded that the King title should be his, Tyke swallowed his pride and agreed. (I had a look at the two brothers, and Valdemar was way better.) But Tyke did not forget. (We had a rehost somewhere in here and I switched to playing Valdemar).
  • The Brothers' War: Tyke did as his brother had done: He gathered the chief men of Norway to his cause, one by one; after a year or two there were many who forgot why they had supported Valdemar's claim to the throne, and remembered that he had not given them land or gifts or women. Or perhaps they thought that men who made a king had a right to unmake one as well, and wished to establish for time to come that the kings of Norway - a title that had not existed before Harald made it - ruled only with the consent of their chiefs. In any case Tyke demanded, after a year or two of Valdemar's rule, that the crown be given back to him. But Valdemar did not do as his brother had done; he called out the levies of the north - for all the south had risen against his rule - and sailed to restore his father's kingdom to obedience.
  • King of Rags And Patches: At about this time the Ladejarls, the dukes of Trondhjem, succeeded in their long war to subdue Denmark. (Which had become independent of Sweden due to the same immemorial custom that split Norway in two.) Splendid, we all cheered - but it took a major source of manpower out of the realm when every man was needed. With the out-islands joining Tyke's cause, and the Christian Orkneys in revolt against pagan rule, this left Valdemar as king only of the North - Lappland and Finnmark, in effect. Now 'Lapp' is actually an insult; it means 'patch' - presumably in reference to ragged clothes; which is why nowadays the people who were formerly called so are referred to as 'Sami', their own name for themselves. Hence the rebels' mocking name for Valdemar, the King of Rags. But his ragged fighting men, who patched the holes in their clothes with strips of birch bark, drove the southerners back and back, from Dovre to the mouth of the Mjøsa. Let them call what names they like, if they obey.
  • King in the North: Valdemar died, like his father, at the head of his troops; his son Anund inherited the throne of Norway - or at any rate, as much of Norway as the birch-leg fighting men happened to be standing on - at the age of eight. His father had never ruled the whole kingdom at peace; so when the time came to write of his memory, those who were loyal to him called him the King in the North. For that was indisputable. To be "King of Norway" is, in this year of wolf and raven, a form of words which many men lay claim to. But Valdemar had gained the hearts of the northmen, and led them through thick and thin ("and Loki be my witness, there was more thin than thick on the Dovre front"Wink, and that is the essence of kingship.

    There was a Council revolt in there somewhere as well, which I mention only so I can increment the counter:

  • Norwegian Council Revolts for More Power: 2.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, June 25, 2017 5:59:08 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
  • Finnal Alliance: Finland is now a vassal of Norway; this brings advantages to both sides. The Finns are no longer the target of every Germanic adventurer with two ducats to rub together and ambitions to build a kingdom, and Norway can call on two thousand heavily armed, violent drunks.
  • Toujours en Vedette: Of the roughly twenty years of this session, Anund was at peace for two months - just long enough to get the Finnish vassalisation and bring the levies home from Scotland. In particular: I finished the Brothers' War, imprisoning Tyke. I lost the Conquest of the Orkneys after the one-province count managed to attract a Holy Order to his cause, giving him about twice my army. I won the brutal Irish Holy War for the Nordreyjar, in which the Faeroes changed hands three times and Ireland was burnt to a crisp by Norse troops and their wild Finn confederates; the blot-trees hung heavy with Irish highborns for years after the peace. Even the French and the Scots learned not to interfere in Norse business; for two years a King of Scots languished in a Norse dungeon, though the peace treaty unfortunately specified that he should escape the blot-trees. There was a minor Catholic rebellion, and then the big one: I went after Sweden for Uppsala, where Bjørn the Traitor-King cut down the Great Grove, and a church of the White Christ stands where there were houghs and holy stones. As one might expect, that war goes well; Odin favours his faithful and there is no strength in the faith of slaves.
  • Toujours en Toilette: Like his grandfather, Anund survived multiple diseases. In his case, however, they were Nausea, Diarrhea (twice) and Malaise. Nowhere near as dignified, especially on campaign.
  • As Below, So Above: I, too, have been struck down by Fever, Nausea, and Diarrhea, as indeed have the Queen of Men, Crown Princess of Men, and Prince of Men. The next patch should definitely reduce the spread and harshness of these events. But as we've gone ten thousand years without a serious patch, just mods that let the players improve the experience themselves, I'm not holding my breath. Anyone want to mod stomach bugs out of this?
  • Into the Monk: I'm not going to make fun. I'm just going to say that this is actually a name/nickname combination that a Finnish Messalian can acquire. It's just as well he has Martial through the roof.
  • The Stubborn Englishry: Hadogei, having hammered England into one, intended to invade Denmark - or so he thought. But Odin, as noted, protects his faithful; England-south-of-Thames, and Cornwall and Wales, are in revolt. There will be no vengeance for the Great Heathen Host in this decade.
  • The Orders of Chivalry: In the pursuit of balance we activated all the Holy Orders for the played religions. I opine that the Jomsvikings, all 750 of them at full strength, are not really a balance for five Christian HOs each several thousand strong, but I'll take what I can get; the Christians were already active.

    Norwegian Revolts for Increased Council Power: 3. I let this one through as it came at an inconvenient time.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, July 02, 2017 12:53:06 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere


    The death of Kings. The 'Gout' thing is silly; Anund died in the middle of leading his troops in battle. The 'suspicious circumstances' one is also silly, if slightly less so; Valdemar died in the same battle, leading the right flank. I admit that the arrow did not necessarily come from the Swedish lines.


  • Where Kings Go To Die: I fought a war with Småland, which had broken free of Sweden and thus become ripe for incorporation in the Greater Yngling Co-Prosperity Sphere. There was a battle fought, in Öland; in this battle king Anund took his bane-wound. Also his eldest son Valdemar who succeeded him, and was King of Norway for just long enough to lead a charge for the Red Lion banner, under which stood Gudfrid, the Smålander king. And though Valdemar fell in that charge, Gudfrid's men were beaten and the king was captured, and he gave submission to King Bagge of Norway, the younger brother of Valdemar, the third to hold that title in a day. For this reason the war is called the War of the Four Kings and Two Kingdoms. After these events no king of Norway has set foot on Öland, nor will they while men remember.
  • Twilight of the Old Gods: Both Denmark and Sweden have had kings who follow the White Christ; only Norway has remained firmly a bastion of the worship of Odin. Worse, when brave men have sent out the war-arrow to gather sea-kings to their cause, to take the crowns of weaklings, seize broad acres, and become land-kings by right of conquest - they have, so many of them, failed; the corpses of would-be kings litter the beaches from Estonia to England. Men say that Odin does not give victory as in times past; men say that the White Christ came not to bring peace, but the sword, and that he wields it right well. The moral authority of Norse paganism has not been over 30% in a generation.
  • The Silent Oaks: The kings of Norway have gathered Uppsala and Mære under their rule; they have torn down the churches that were built there, raised once more the holy howes, and hanged the priests from young oaks recently planted, with shimmering flaxen ropes around their necks and spear-wounds in their sides. Thus hung Odin, once, for nine days and nights, for the knowledge of seid, rune-magic; and indeed it is clear that one may gain wisdom by doing so, for no hanged priest has ever been heard to babble of the White Christ again. The war for Lejre is underway, and goes well; the weak kings of Sweden do not seem to find strength in their new god.
  • Holy Smoke: So that men may respect the old gods - and also so that maybe a prepared invasion could succeed once in a while, how about it Odin? - I have taken to raiding extensively in kingdoms that are the targets of my vassals' wars. This has the dual effect of reducing their armies and burning their churches. Much of England, for example, is smoking ruin. Unfortunately the Orcadians wasted their prepared-invasion army on a battle before I could get there, and now they have about 200 men left, which makes for slow progress even when what you're besieging is a smoking ruin.
  • Yngling Blood Runs True: One of my vassals and kinsmen, Jarl Hrolfr of Østlandet, has managed to show the mettle of our bloodline by launching a prepared invasion of Denmark, currently held by a child of the von Britannia dynasty. I wish him much luck in this endeavour, and suspect he'll find it; because I was, as it happens, campaigning in that area anyway. It could be that there won't be very many Danish armies to oppose his righteous claim.



    Southern Scandinavia is a cauldron of war. Sweden is at war with me, and also four of my vassals have various one-province CBs that they are pursuing. Denmark is at war with an adventurer, a revolt, and another of my vassals who is doing a prepared invasion.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • dragoon9105
    Posted: Sunday, July 02, 2017 12:55:43 AM
     Lieutenant General


    Joined: 8/25/2014
    Posts: 2,123
    Use Imgur Kom, It doesn't try and nickle and dime you just for hosting a few photos.
    King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, July 02, 2017 1:13:13 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Yes, I just switched.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
    King of Men
    Posted: Friday, July 07, 2017 11:53:17 PM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
  • Eclipse of the Old Gods: In spite of massive raiding against the target kingdoms, I failed to make my vassals' invasions of Denmark and England succeed; as for the invasion of Dragoon's vast Ukraine-Poland blob, forget it. Consequently the moral authority of Norse paganism was precisely zero for most of the session. These are dark times for the faith of fighting men.
  • Island Fortress: No, not Britain, nor England. For the second time, the Orkneys have held off a county conquest; and although they were nominally fighting one of my vassals, which might have been a fair match, I joined the war (since I had an army raised and nothing better to do with it), so the single-province Orkneys were facing the full might of Norway. It turns out that it's really difficult to shift a Holy Order defending a hilly island. In truth the AI also had some difficulty; early in the war I managed to land in the Orkneys while the Holy Order was off besieging Caithness. That was before I knew what I faced; thinking I was fighting only the Orkneys, I just put a stack of 2000 men in, enough to siege the island down, and went off to look at what my raids in Sweden were doing. The next thing I know, I have a popup saying that my 2000 men just held off 5000. Unfortunately they took such damage in doing so that when the HO had recovered they managed to kick me off; and from then on I couldn't win a single battle. (No doubt due to that zero moral authority - clearly, Odin was off in a sulk.) From here on, whenever I have occasion to refer to the Orkneys, it will be as "the Island Fortress of the Orkneys".
  • Am I My Sweet Brother's Keeper?: Sweden, under the rule of the Traitor-Kings, is succumbing to the internal rot that will eventually make all Christian kingdoms fail; the process is particularly fast here in the north, where the people have no painfully-acquired immunity to the worst excesses of the religion of slaves. No less than six of my vassals (not counting human-played Finland) declared war for various counties, and they all won, too - possibly with some involvement from the King's armies, it's true. There is not much left of Sweden, now.
  • Triple Telemark: Of the six vassals who declared war on Sweden, three did so for the single county of Telemark. It follows that two of their wars ended inconclusively. Fortunately this does not count as a failure for purposes of moral authority.
  • The Friend Zone: One of the more pernicious effects of the religion of slaves is that it forbids concubines. This makes it very difficult to get a proper Yngling breeding program going; I've been forced to select concubines more because they were available than because they had attractive traits. On the plus side, this does mean that my armies are full of horny teenagers taking out their frustrations on the rest of the world.
  • Sisu Transformation: The successful conquests put me over the realm limit of 150; at Ranger's suggestion I cut Finland loose, and the Saars once more face the world without the protection of Odin. On the plus side I suspect that nobody wants to stick their army in crazy.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2017 8:09:59 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
  • Fall of the Island Fortress: My vassals, like moths seeking self-immolation in candle flames, kept flinging themselves at the Orkneys; three separate county conquests were declared against it this session! Despairing at the cost to my moral authority, and having gotten a respectable army together, I finally joined one of these wars. The Holy Order that has been faithfully defending the Island Fortress through these wars was thus decoyed out to attack my province of Caithness (the northern tip of Scotland), and I landed my army in the Orkneys to await their counterattack. It came, I won, and the Island Fortress is at last part of the Norwegian kingdom.



    The Island Fortress stands firm against the pagan hordes. This is just before I got tired of them tanking my moral authority.


  • Set England Ablaze: In search of moral authority (and gold) I systematically raided the entire east coast of England, from the Thames to the Ouse.
  • New Dawn of the Old Gods: A number of failed invasions and holy wars passed out of men's memory in the 1010s, increasing Norse moral authority to the high thirties. By dint of much raiding of temples, intervening in the prepared invasion of one of Gollevainen's Dukes against Denmark, and generally speaking doing my utmost to turn northern Europe into a smoking wasteland, I managed to raise this to fifty, and (as I already controlled three holy sites) was thus able to reform the Germanic faith. Triumph! Victory! Glory to the Allfather! It is said that the smoke of the Great Blot I ordered in Uppsala was visible from the Saar Tower in Finland, a hundred miles over the water; and men shivered at the sight, not knowing when the dragon-headed ships might pull up on their own beaches to disgorge bearded warriors in search of captives to burn for the glory of Odin.
  • The Sword of the Allfather: Anlaufr gained this illustrious title by descending on the jarl of Ostergotland, a heretic who preferred the old ways, and demonstrating that Odin's favour is with the reformed religion.



    Anlaufr, King of Norway, the Sword of the Allfather, pictured at the culmination of his career of fighting in Odin's name.


  • The Cleansing Flame: Unfortunately I was not the only one with a cool nickname. With the pagan defensive attrition removed, a crusade to cleanse the North with fire and sword was declared almost immediately. Crusade for Norway! Obviously, the loss of my main kingdom - something over half my territory - would be a devastating blow to the true faith; for this reason I am confident Odin won't let it happen. Nevertheless the position looks somewhat dire at the moment; no less than three powerful player kingdoms - Leon, the Holy Roman Empire, and the Ukraine - have large armies in my territory, and my levy is retreating towards Nidaros after a disastrous battle.
  • The West's Awake: Ireland stands poised to send ten thousand screaming gallowglasses to my coast, to settle who is in charge of the British Isles once and for all.
  • No Joke to Fight in Norway in Winter: Although the extra-special pagan attrition is gone, I still have the regular winter/mountain attrition; I believe my enemies won't be able to catch my retreating army without marching through inland, winter, mountain terrain and melting away as a result. So I have some breathing space.



    Diplomatic situation: War with three powerful kingdoms.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 9:27:22 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
  • Another Such Victory: At the beginning of the session I was at war with three players in a Crusade for Norway, and the warscore stood at 74% against me. Two crusader armies (Ukrainian and Italian) were besieging southern Norway, and a third (Leonese) was skulking about the east side of the Jotunheim (the mountain range that divides western and eastern Norway; in Crusader Kings it is impassable to military units), apparently not quite sure whether to go for my capital and accept the attrition (it's no joke to fight in Norway in winter), or to go east into Sweden and return in the summer. However, I had secured support from several people, and sufficient money poured in that I was able to hire more mercenaries. At the same time Hadogei made up his mind and the Leonese army, seven thousand men, came north towards Nidaros, challenging my main stack - five thousand strong - to fight. Since I had three thousand men offshore in boats, where I had been getting ready to sail south to recapture some of the occupied land, and since Nidaros attacked from the south is a strong defensive position - mountains and a river - I decided to accept battle. That was a mistake. Not because I lost; on the contrary I was well on my way to beating the Leonian army. However, that took time, and the crusading players, realising that they were about to lose a large amount of warscore, Took Steps; in particular they ordered their armies to assault the sieges they were in. That cost them heavily, but the occupation of Akershus tipped the warscore to 100%, mainly by losing me the "holds Norway" ticking warscore. The AI, for once, was on the ball, and the Pope forced the peace through before I could finish trouncing the Leonese. For reasons entirely unclear, the Pope also awarded the victory to Leon, which had fought one and a half battles with me, rather than Italy, which had occupied several of my provinces.
  • The Forty-Year Night: Norway now languishes under colonial rule, a Christian "King" of the von Britannia family. Of course, such a person has only the form, not the substance, of kingship; submitting, as they necessarily must, to the Pope on Earth and to their god in Heaven, they are not true sovereigns, but subordinates - servants, not masters. A king of the Norse faith is genuinely sovereign, admitting no superior; even Odin, the giver of victory, is only first among equals in the host of brave men who will meet the ice-giants on Vigrid field. However, theology aside, it is a fact that Norway is now a colony; I trust that in this timeline the liberation will require only forty years, and not four hundred as in ours. (Note for those not familiar with Norwegian history: During the national-romantic revival of the 1850s some historians began to refer to the union with Denmark, from 1397 to 1814, as the "four-hundred-year night"; I don't think you would find anyone doing so unironically these days, but ironic or not it is an expression I think most Norwegians would recognise.)
  • The Viking War: I was left with a claim to Norway; since Hadogei didn't keep the kingdom as part of his played realm, but handed it out to a relative, I was able to press the claim almost immediately with a good chance of success, since I'd be fighting the AI. Indeed this came very close to working. However, the AI, being under attack by a character of the true faith, was able to attract one of the Hel-damned Holy Orders that infest the Christian world like lice; with ten thousand fighting men, and the mountains of Norway for a bastion, they were able to draw out the fight for a considerable time. I did eventually manage to bait them into attacking me across a river into a mountain, with reasonably equal numbers and good commanders on my side. But my shout of "Victoglory" was premature; I won the battle but ran out of money before I could complete the sieges I needed. My mercenaries promptly deserted, and I accepted a white peace.
  • The Nidaros War: King Anlaufr, "The Sword of the Allfather", died of cancer before I could renew the war against the colonial regime. His son Snorre (named "the Sword of Frey" for his successful wars against the breakaway lords in Sweden) had only a weak claim, which I could not press; I perforce fell back on a Holy War for Nidaros, which is not yet over. Nidaros is my traditional capital in this timeline, and also contains the third holy site, which I need to make myself Fylkir. Unfortunately, while I'm superior to the Norwegian kingdom on its own, the entire von Britannia family seems to have joined the wars in High Germany, and to have combined their armies under Norwegian command - which, upon my declaration of war, promptly brought home all eighteen thousand men from whatever they were doing in Germany. Some testing in single player reveals that this is a mistake on the AI's part; my armies are sea-mobile and don't have to fight if I don't want to, and it's no joke to wander around above the supply limit in Norwegian winter. But attriting them down is going to take a while, and meanwhile the risk of Leonese or Irish intervention looms.


    I needed some money for the Nidaros War, and decided to go get it from my erstwhile enemies, the kings of Leon. It turns out that the cockpit of Europe is living up to its nickname at the moment; northern Germany is a chaos of contending armies - in the middle of which my raiding stack is quite calmly helping itself to a couple hundred ducats. My raid only makes me hostile to the Leonese, who apparently have other things to do with their main forces at the moment; so my army is sitting there in the middle of the war, besieging a random castle, with a dozen armies walking by giving friendly waves - "Oh hai, raiding the Leonese? Kk not my problem, thxbai".


    King Snorre, "the Sword of Frey". A formidable character even with only half his rightful kingdom.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Saturday, August 19, 2017 9:06:04 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Much delayed events of what turned out to be the final Crusader Kings session:

  • Reconquest: It was slow work as I had to do it one duchy at a time, but I managed to reconquer about half of Norway.
  • The Black Death: It didn't reach quite everywhere, but as shown in the map, the rats from the east were well on their way to the Bay of Biscay when their advance was interrupted by session's end.
  • Second Baltic Crusade: When Heaven demonstrates Its wrath, men become desperate; the brain-addled Christians, in particular, decided that the Plague was their god's way of telling them to spread their faith at the sword's point. (Admittedly this is very consistent with the rest of their dogma. Our scholars of comparative religion have yet to find a stimulus that they do not interpret in this fashion.) They therefore declared the Crusade for Svea Rike; for complicated theological reasons this came precisely thirty years after the end of the Crusade for Norway.
  • The White Death: For reasons best known to themselves (perhaps they were complicated theological ones), the Crusaders launched their invasion of Scandinavia just as winter was beginning, which was also just as the plague was arriving. This is evidence that the disease is a blessing sent by Hel, to cleanse the human race of stupidity; the Norse armies did not need to lift a finger in actual defense, per se. It's no joke to fight in Norway (or Sweden) in winter in any year, but in combination with the plague it turned out to be ludicrously deadly. I merely parked my levies on my fleet, out of range of the attrition, and occasionally landed for long enough to mop up a stack that had started fifteen or twenty thousand strong. This did have the unfortunate side effect of giving my king scurvy, from being at sea for months on end, but that was basically our only casualty in this war. We were, however, interrupted by the session's end before I could reach 100% warscore, so the crusade will convert into EU4, with perhaps slightly unfortunate effects on the defensibility of Scandinavia. Nevertheless I remain optimistic; the peninsula is also well suited for defense by a strong fleet, which I have, and decades of investing the income from raiding have given me forts in mountain and forest provinces which suffer from hard winters.
  • Vox Popoli, Vox Diaboli: We had decided to start voting on whether to convert to EU4 after 200 years, and this session we passed that threshold. This incident actually demonstrates one of the ways that games allow us to explore unlikely corners of theory space. Game theorists and social scientists have demonstrated mathematically that democracy needn't always have optimal outcomes, but of course this is just airy theorising with no application in the real world - until you start playing games, that is; then you can tweak the rules to construct the weirdest imaginable coalitions, preferences, and utility functions. Our rules had apparently created one of those corner cases in the parameter space of democracy that you can obviously never get in real politics, and there was a majority for the wrong decision: We are converting to EU4. Hence my silence for the last few weeks, I've been frantically upgrading the converter to deal with the latest DLCs. Incidentally, when I get rich I'm going to buy a large amount of Paradox stock, get myself onto its board, and make it my mission in life to fire the idiot who changed all the savegame keywords. Failing that, I hope he at least had to hunt down a bunch of hardcoded string literals in half a dozen different source files.




    Advance of the Black Death; also showing the successes of Norse arms in our reconquest of Norway and defense of Sweden.



    Final political situation. Note the many remaining strong AI realms, due to our strict realm-size limits; the player realms are Eire, Aquitaine, Leon, Nordriki, Saarland, Africa, Great Moravia (the Hungary-ish brown blob), Rus, Lazuli (the Balkan realm in imperial purple), Varingia (grey Ukrainian power, south of Rus), Hedarabia (south of Egypt), and Mordor (into which one does not simply walk). Some of the dynasties have outlier kingdoms granted to brothers or younger sons, which count for custom score and may in some cases convert as personal unions, but even so there are multiple power vacuums in this map. Presumably they will be rapidly filled in EU4.



    The corresponding starting situation in EU4 - the conversion may get some final tweaks but the borders won't change much, if at all.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • Ranger9000
    Posted: Saturday, August 19, 2017 8:46:36 PM
     Captain

    Joined: 4/11/2013
    Posts: 297
    Not even a single mention of the only state to stand by the Norse against the crusade huh? And stealing my arctic sea acess through the converter. Not cool man Tongue
    King of Men
    Posted: Saturday, August 19, 2017 8:49:15 PM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    I've told people before: You want your country propagandised in an AAR, write your own dang propaganda. Tongue

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
    Juan_de_Marco
    Posted: Saturday, August 26, 2017 7:19:10 PM
     Brigadier General

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 5/20/2010
    Posts: 1,024
    Location: Lookin out my backdoor
    How did you guys decide on realm cap? What was the decision? What is the year of conversion?
    I have to say, I'm impressed with the resulting maps. A thoroughly realistic political power map, hardly blobs material at the end of CK like other times. Lots of opportunity for shenanigans later on. Good luck everyone!

    /lurk
    King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, August 27, 2017 7:38:42 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    We are converting in 1072, but starting EU4 in 1444. The realm cap was 150, arrived at by lengthy discussion and consulting the haruspices.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
    King of Men
    Posted: Saturday, September 16, 2017 10:55:17 PM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Song of the Dead in the South - in the sun by their skeleton horses,
    Where the warrigal whimpers and bays through the dust
    of the sere river-courses.


    We Must Feed Our Sea, the first part of Song of the Dead, is at an end; here begins the second part, Our Doom and Our Pride. At such a time I customarily have a look at the geostrategic situation, with a particularly sharp eye out for who is exposing a kidney and can be usefully stabbed in the back attacked.

    Maps

    Here then is the map of Europe in this year that the Christians call 1444:



    Note the splendid wolf's-head banner of the Ynglings, courtesy of Blayne, "The Professor" on these forums, who played Lazuli in CK but has now moved to China. "Sable a wolf's head gules", a blazon to strike fear anywhere within a day's ride of the high-tide mark; "a wolf's head" is also an expression meaning an outlaw, an enemy of all mankind, who may be slain without paying any were-gild and who in consequence kills and robs for his living. It is a suitable banner for the Ynglings, and for the only surviving Norse power in Christian Europe; in the high north we have nothing but contempt for the religion of slaves.

    Limiting the map to player realms:



    In addition we have two players in China, plus Kongo, Mongolia, Korea, and Japan; but they fall outside the saga for the present. There is, incidentally, room for more over in Asia, and if the large AI realms (Mali, Rajputana, Samanids, Telingana, Lazuli) survive, we will open them to players in 1550. I've left out Varingia's personal union with Alania; Great Moravia (about where Austria-Hungary was in OTL) has a personal union with Serbia. Finally, the AI powers in western Europe have been put into the Empire:

    This is intended to give them a little more defensive power against the rapacious humans surrounding them. Observe that Europe is not fully divided between the players, and that the largest player realms are roughly equal; that's because we had a realm-size limit in Crusader Kings, which more or less accomplished its purpose of preventing runaway blobbing and one player or alliance bloc becoming dominant in the first part of the game.

    Player countries

    I am playing the Ynglinga Rike, a Dutch Republic following the Norse faith and dominating most of Scandinavia. The first map is decorated with my custom ideas, known as the Viking; it is a fierce and aggressive set, suited for sea warfare and landing the long ships on enemy coasts to raid and pillage. My first act was to burn the Christian coasts from the Gulf of Finland to the mouth of the Thames; it's true that this annoyed some of the other players, but I needed the money for mercenaries to fight off the people I'd annoyed. Immediately to my east is my ally the Peasant Republic of Saarland, with the somewhat similar Pirate ideas. East of them again is Great Novgorod, playing the Banker set and warily watching the Noble Republic of Varingia to their south, while preparing to expand east into the steppe. Novgorod is played by Gollevainen, a veteran of these megacampaigns; Varingia by Dragoon, the vice-GM and perhaps our strongest Crusader Kings player. He has got the immensely strong Artilleryman set, which will make him a land power to be feared once artillery becomes powerful. The idea sets were assigned by an auction, using achievement points acquired in Crusader Kings; Dragoon, with the highest score, had his choice of which to take and used them like a scalpel; hence the personal union with Alania and the French Musketeers splendor bonus, both of which were also auction benefits.

    Moving west from Varingia we come to Great Moravia, with the Mongol ideas giving them very powerful cavalry - almost the opposite of Varingia, this makes them a powerful land power in the early years when cavalry dominates, but weaker later on. Moravia is also unfortunate in being squeezed between Varingia and the Holy Roman Empire, with the Samurai set encouraging them to be at war at all times. This 'Holy Roman Empire' is neither holy, Roman, imperial, or ingame; it is only the localisation text Mark chose for his nation. Indeed this alleged Empire is in fact an Ambrosian Republic. We also have the actual ingame HRE, which is AI. But whether accurately named or not, the Holy Republican Empire is the largest human power, and it seems likely that it will be necessary to resist its encroaching on High Germany. The Germans are the lawful prey of the Ynglings, and have been so from the first Great-Game timeline.

    West again we find Leon, the second-ranked nation in CK, with the Globalist ideas making it a strong coloniser. It was apparently much damaged by the disastrous invasion of Sweden in CK, for Andalusia to its south - an AI nation, no less! - gave it a good and well-deserved kicking in the first session. Tiny Poitou in the southwest of France is played by Zirotron with the Colonizer ideas; although he was not very successful at Crusader Kings, in fact the only player who never became a kingdom, Leon's troubles may be his opportunity - presumably they will both compete for American colonies. North of that, the British Isles are dominated by Eire, whose Guardsman ideas will give it excellent infantry in a few years. Eire is a Polish Monarchy, and has already taken over much of what is England in this 1444 map. They will be a major rival when the Scandinavian republics try to colonise our rightful clay across the Atlantic.

    Finally we have two surviving Muslim powers, Aswad and Mordor, with Crusader (yes, irony!) and Merchant ideas respectively. Mordor of the burning-eye flag rejoices in the Ottoman form of government; isolated in the southeast part of the map, it interacted very little with any other player realm in Crusader Kings, but that will presumably change now.

    These are the people who played the two hundred years of Crusader Kings (excepting Blayne of the Lazuli, who as noted moved to China). In addition Khan is playing Candravamsa over in India, with Mercenary ideas and the Prussian government form. We split Ming into its component warlords, and have two players there, Blayne playing Tianlan (renamed from Wu) with the Philosopher King ideas, and Hooonter playing Xi, so far without a custom idea set. Vaniver, eliminated early in CK (he was playing a Muslim nation in Andalusia) is returning is Korea with the Scholar idea set. The immensely skilled Ragatokk is joining us as Uesugi, again without custom ideas so far, and is well on his way to uniting Japan. Kuipy, well known for his plots spanning centuries, has taken Kongo, slightly buffed by edits; and finally we have FailedStrategy in Mongolia.

    Session events

    I began at war with no less than three player realms, namely Eire, Leon, and Varingia; although allied to Saarland in this Second Baltic Crusade, my situation would be quite bad if those players had intended to press home their attack. Fortunately the gods are with me; in Crusader Kings they sent the Great Plague which, in combination with the snow and the mountains - it is never a joke to fight in Norway in winter, and all the less so for the plague - melted away the Leonese armies that invaded Sweden. Having failed of their purpose in that game, the Crusaders (prompted no doubt by the real gods whispering in their ears, perhaps when they thought themselves closest in prayer to the false White Christ) appear to have simply given up; all three player realms offered me peace without concessions within a year of the game start, leaving me to snap up their minor AI allies as vassals.

    I was, unfortunately, somewhat less successful in the First Baltic Crusade back in CK, which is why Norway to my west is currently an independent nation; I was unable to complete the reconquest in CK, but as long as no player protects it, it doesn't look too difficult here. However, the project will have to wait until my current war is over; the multiple vassalisations seem to have made the AI nervous, for Germany, France, and Alsace formed a coalition against me. Between them they have about three times my army; fortunately they marched three-fourths of it into Fyn, where my superior fleet is keeping it bottled up while I conquer their homelands. Their defense now consists mainly of the rebels infesting their homelands. Unhappily a large rebel stack surprised my army as I was besieging Paris, which is why I'm out of manpower as the second session begins.

    Finally, here is the map of Europe at the end of the first session:



    Note the smoothing out of Varingia, the HRE, and Novgorod; Eire expanding into England; the drastic reduction of Leon; and Candravamsas absorbing the neighboring minors.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
    King of Men
    Posted: Saturday, September 23, 2017 4:16:33 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    As my sinuses are clogged, preventing my narrative genius from coming out of my brain, I return to the events-of-the-session format.

    [list]
  • Naval Superiority: At the end of the previous session I was out of manpower and at war with a coalition of three semi-powerful AI states: Germany, France, and Alsace. Between them these countries had forty thousand men in the field, while my army was down to fourteen thousand - and as noted, no manpower. However, of those forty thousand, thirty thousand had decided to besiege the capital of my vassal Bornholm, in Fyn; presumably the plan after that was to enter unfortified Sjælland, then Skåne and my economic heartland and force me to the peace table. This excellent plan foundered on the splendid Yngling navy, although in truth it would have foundered on any navy whatsoever, since Germany and Alsace are landlocked and France hadn't built any ships. My otherwise-useless galleys from the conversion sat in Öresund and blocked both straits from Fyn, leaving my heavy ships free to finance the war by raiding the North Sea coast. With thirty thousand men trapped on Fyn, my army could fight on reasonably even terms with the Alsatian stack still on the loose, and with the various rebel militias that Germany mustered to the defense of its homeland. I ended the war by taking Lauenburg, connecting my Baltic with my North Sea coastlines.
  • Baltic Disagreement: I had a claim on Kønigsberg, left over from a random inheritance in Crusader Kings; as the city was held by AI Lithuania, I shrugged and said "why not"? Unfortunately there turned out to be a good reason why not: Dragoon considered the whole of the Baltic states, even to the coast, to lie within his sphere of influence. "Stay on your side of the Baltic", quoth he, and was not impressed when I rejoined that that is my side of the Baltic. (I observe that the Baltic shore, being continuous, doesn't in fact have 'sides'; you can walk dry-shod from Stockholm to Kønigsberg, if you're patient.) I was not prepared to tangle with Varingia at the present time, and backed down, taking money but no territory.
  • End of the Long Night: The First Baltic Crusade, at the beginning of the century, prospered much better than the Second, and seized Norway for the religion of slaves. I had gone some way towards rectifying that in Crusader Kings, retaking Norway's economic heartland (I mean, such as it is) in the eastern valleys, and its military and cultural core in Trøndelag, in successive Holy Wars. However, the Second Baltic Crusade did manage to prevent me from a full reconquest, or from declaring a Great Holy War to plant the oaken groves in Christian territory. Now, with Leon and the von Britannia dynasty in collapse, I was able to attack a diplomatically isolated Norway and force it to its knees in a single swift campaign, seizing the Faeroes as a naval base and imposing my sovereignty over the whole of Scandinavia once again. Incidentally this brought me to four vassals: Bornholm, Dauphine, Kotivarsa, and Norway - just one away from the Splendor objective of five.
  • Naval Supremacy: With my manpower recovered, I turned my eyes west. The same First Baltic Crusade had delivered strategically-important Iceland to Eire, which presumably intended it as a base for colonising North America. This would place them in competition with my ally Saarland, and - now that I had the Faeroes as a base - also with myself. Moreover, James had several times tried to bully Saarland into giving up the colonisation project, demanding the handover of Shetland, and later of the Canaries. It seemed to me that it might be an auspicious time to demonstrate that I will not stand for this sort of treatment of my allies; and besides, Iceland is anciently a possession of the Norwegian crown, and thus my rightful clay. (And having Norway as a vassal gave me a conquest CB.) I built up my army and navy slightly, then looked for the correct moment; it came when the Irish navy tried to occupy the same spot of ocean that the Yngling Navy was, at that moment, upholding my sovereign rights in. I should note that Yngling custom and international law differ slightly on this point. International law (as practiced by Christian countries) holds that waters more than three sea-miles from the coast are open to all; Yngling custom holds that our navy extends our sovereignty wherever it goes. There are some other differences of a similar nature; for example international law recognises property rights for Christians, while Yngling custom recognises only temporary rights of management, to end when we find it convenient to come and get our stuff. But I digress. The dragon-headed ships beat the coracles like a drum, first driving them into an Icelandic port and blockading them there, then - when my army arrived to take possession - following them to the Orkneys and sinking the last Irish ships when they were again driven out of port by my army. With complete naval supremacy I could split Ireland into its constituent islands and fight each one separately, and I was getting ticking warscore from Iceland. However, there was no need. James tried once to throw my army back into the sea; failing, he cold-bloodedly cut his losses and offered me Iceland in a peace treaty. Not wanting to be perceived as greedy, and having made my point, I accepted.
    [/list]



    Battle of Sutherland, the only major clash of the armies. Note the difference in tactics and discipline.




    European players at the end of the session. Hadogei was absent and is not shown in Leon.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, October 01, 2017 11:26:49 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    This session, which ran from 1485 to 1511, had considerable Events and much Drama; my AAR is in part a report on action which is still ongoing in the forums, and whose outcome is not yet fully decided.

    [list]
  • Finnish Knives: The relentless expansion of the False Empire continued with a demand for the two French vassals of mine that were left over from the Second Baltic Crusade. At the same time Ireland demanded the return of its naval bases in Iceland, and Novgorod decided to take the opportunity to round out its Finnish border. With Varingia supporting its allies, the war was clearly hopeless, and Saarland was persuaded at knife's-point to break its historic alliance with the Ynglings and switch its protecting Great Power to Novgorod - and incidentally pick up Sjaelland to add to its collection of islands. Against such a coalition resistance was clearly futile in the long term. Fearing worse terms if I extended the fight, I acceded after some brief fighting in Germany.
  • Rough Trade: With the alliance broken, Saarland was free to raid me, and vice versa. We had some discussion in TeamSpeak of whether raiding is actually harmful; we eventually figured out that yes, it does give you devastation, same as other kinds of looting. Still, this is not that damaging; and for a while I thought it was just free money. Now if that were true, then in some sense mutual raids are just trade: Both of us get more money. Of course, it would be a very rough trade, what with the whips, chains, slaves... But as they say in Finland, rough trade is best trade!
  • Spanish Intervention: Searching for allies, my eye fell on the two very small player realms in the West, Leon and Poitou. After Leon lost to AI (!) Andalusia, and Poitou was beaten by AI Aquitaine, these countries have not been significant factors in player diplomacy; but there wasn't any reason they couldn't be restored. I accordingly offered Leon an alliance, and sent troops to Iberia to help it defeat Navarra and invade Galicia. We had some success with this, and Leon has made a modest recovery; however, until it decisively beats Andalusia and recovers its cores in Spain, it will be a very minor power. Andalusia, showing unusual good sense for the AI, is currently allied to Ireland and to the HRE.
  • Unbalance of Power: Indeed, the size of the neon-blue Empire has not gone unnoticed. At the end of the session, what we had was an alliance between Mark, by far the largest player, with more than 1500 development, and Dragoon, third-largest with about 700. Additionally Gollevainen, second-largest player, was allied to Dragoon. Further, Mark and Dragoon had recently been at war with Yami and taken territory, and were fairly open about their plan to eventually partition him. It was therefore clearly necessary to put together a coalition against Mark, ideally one which included Dragoon. Negotiations for this, however, broke down, as Dragoon refused to backstab Mark, preferring if necessary to end the game.
  • Terms of Surrender: Dragoon offered the following terms to the European powers, as a modus vivendi to continue the game:
    Dragoon wrote:
    Me and Mark are resolved to Win the game in Eu4 if that becomes an option. All Terms War or Otherwise are Rejected, I'm with the Holy Roman Empire. I hope I don't have to see any of you against us on the battlefield.

    Here are our Terms.

    1. Great Moravia is to be Partitioned, This is unavoidable. I can see about bringing Mark around to apologize for being a Dick to Yami once we are all on friendlier terms.
    2. King of Men's Territories in Germany split between Mark and Myself at our discretion.
    3. France and Spain are Mark's spheres, and Players there are considered under his protection. Foreign Colonies in these regions are not to be tolerated.
    4. All Lands East of the Elbe and Carpathian Mountains are dictated to by my Area of Influence, The Remains of Lithuania, Pomerania and Poland shall go to me, and my Current Border Deal with Golle I will honor.
    5. An End to All Piracy and Coastal Raiding in Europe.
    6. Ireland and Saarland is are not to be attacked, over their Northern Islands and Territories, and they will be allowed to take Southern England unhindered. Do as you wish in regards to America and beyond.
    7. The Establishment of a Permanent European Diplomacy Room of a similar vein to the one the Asians have where Disputes, Trade agreements, Border Swaps, Institution Development and such will be discussed.


  • The End is Not Yet: In view of this dominant alliance, I called a vote on whether to end the campaign and return to Crusader Kings for another go. The vote is very close, still hanging in the balance in fact; it will depend, I think, on the outcome of this session, which may be the last.
  • The False Emperor: During the vote, Vaniver pointed out that Mark had been well over the realm-size limit at conversion, with 289 baronies as against the limit of 150. Although Mark says he openly bragged about this, and mentioned it twice to Dragoon, both GMs somehow managed to miss it, and to think that the 800 development the HRE had in 1444 was merely a quirk of the converter. Some discussion ensued on how to handle this. A rollback to 1444 with the HRE split in two was one possibility, but nobody liked it. Mark pointed out that, if he had released a large nation before conversion in order to get under the realm-size limit, he could then have bid for a personal union with it and gotten the development that way; against this, it's not clear that he would have won that bid. I eventually ended up with a compromise which I am sure will please nobody: The HRE returns many of its recent gains to Germany, France, dez Neigh, Aquitaine, and Serbia, and its remaining northern territories are split off as a vassal.
  • No Man Knows the Day or the Hour: We will play this session; it is not clear whether there will be a next one.
    [/list]



    Europe in 1511, after editing the HRE. Loon is an HRE vassal.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, October 15, 2017 8:39:39 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    This is the second time we have started a megacampaign named "Song of the Dead", and although I do not say we have become exceedingly efficient at it, still it went quite fast this time around. We did make some changes: We are starting in 769, and because of the realm-size limit we reached the conclusion that evening out the number of holdings per province, and forbidding tribal starts, was not really necessary. Additionally we have added a number of new achievements, from the bread-and-butter Little Mermaid - hold Sjaelland at designated checkpoints - to the crazily ambitious Zionist Occupation Government, requiring a Jewish dynasty from outside the Levant to form Israel.

    I am playing as Holstein, part of Saxony; not quite my usual Norway, but close enough, and holding to the true faith. It may be worth pointing out that the tribe of Saxons is named for their characteristic weapon, the 'seax', a single-edged knife or short sword worn at the hip. The word survives into modern Norwegian as 'saks', meaning scissors; but in Charlemagne's age of axe and wolf it retains its original meaning. The Indo-European root means "to cut"; so the demonym "Saxons", meaningless to our ears, might be translated into modern English either as "Knifemen" or "Cutters". Of course, I myself am a highly-civilised product of the twentieth century, and would never dream of anything so inefficient as killing my enemies one by one with quiet thrusts to the kidney; I mention the etymology merely as a point of interest.

    Last time several people ended up playing in near-isolation due to the realm limit and some dropouts; this time we packed Western Europe with player slots, to ensure interaction. My immediate neighbours are Clonefusion in Sweden, Vaniver in Holland, Yami Phoenix in Bohemia, and Yami Fenrir (I have no idea how we ended up with two 'Yami' nicks; what are the odds?) in Bavaria. All expanded more rapidly than I did; I chose my ambition to become king of Saxony at an unfortunate time, just before Charlemagne declared war for the kingdom. However, as there is general agreement that the AI Karlings must go, there will likely be some opportunities.

    Some events of the session:

  • The Burning Axe: We turned off diplomatic range so the players could all interact; this had the side effect of making every possible pagan form a defensive pact against the Franks, and mustering 18000 men when Karl tried to invade Saxony. He backed off.
  • Put Not Your Trust In Princes: Holstein starts with two count vassals, both of which, for inscrutable reasons, have the Duke as their heir. One of them was foolish enough (or perhaps foresighted enough) to plot to get a claim on my title; I didn't bother with the oubliette but just executed, since my only other vassal of note was about to get the chop from my assassination plot. Thus I was able to rapidly get three counties under control, which with tribal levies is a fairly nice army this early in the game.
  • Dannebrog, Storm-Utslagen: Unfortunately, I used that largish army to seize, among other things, Slesvig from Denmark. Shortly thereafter, there was a new king of Denmark, he had a lot of prestige, and between tribal levies and the Tribal Army decision there were six thousand men coming to retake Slesvig. Not expecting this, I had put my levies in their way; thus I lost not only the war - easy come, easy go - but also most of my power base. It does recover, but this meant I was unable to help my liege in what followed.
  • The King Who Knelt: My AI liege decided to attack some minor one-province counts to expand Saxony, and was promptly faced with the same tribal armies that had just killed most of his main vassal's levies. Saxony lost the war for Brandenburg to the one-province count of Lubusz, got beaten up by some other county with two hundred levies and 2500 tribals out of nowhere - and then Karl declared war for the kingdom, with his threat cooled sufficiently that we didn't get half of Europe springing to our defense.
  • Baptism by Fire and Sword: The Karlings seem curiously eager to make us undergo that ritual where they pour water on your head; to the point of threatening war if we don't. It may become necessary, as a tactical concession, to take the cross temporarily. I hear they at least give you a new set of clothes for it, so it won't be a total loss.



    Players in 788 - most of them, anyway. Ignore the big white blob, we had Khan play as Karl since he didn't want a permanent slot and he could keep the AI from doing anything egregiously stupid. A couple of players dropped out before I took the screenshot, but it shows at any rate the difficulty of my position, squeezed into northern Germany between several players who have expanded rapidly.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, October 22, 2017 9:04:27 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Although my original plan was to conquer some bits of Denmark and Norway to be, as is my wont, a North Sea power, the rapid advance of Clonefusion - who by the plan would have been pushed eastwards to make a Baltic Sea power, basically Sweden - and the slowness of my own expansion has made me reconsider. With my power centered on the area where Denmark juts out from Germany (hence, obviously, the name 'Jutland') and, more relevantly, where the Elbe runs into the North Sea, I'm basically the Hanse; except with Norse culture and Germanic religion. Nu, the Hanse were traders, but they were by no means above raising a fleet of a hundred ships and bombarding their way through a tariff barrier if they thought they were being denied a profit. Conversely, the Vikings preferred to raid, but they would trade with sufficiently well-armed targets. My new ambition, therefore, is to convert out of tribalism as a Merchant Republic, centered on the Elbe; and to the extent there's competition for the North Sea profits... that's why they call the Ynglings the Rough Traders.

    As a first step, once the Viking era began I went merrily a-raiding in England; since there was no effective resistance I decided I might as well settle, and got myself Norfolk as a first step. And so was England born! Pace Kipling, this is exactly how England became "Anglo-Saxon" in the first place; I see no reason such a hallowed tradition should cease just because they are kinsmen I'm raiding and not weak-livered Celts. (And anyway I've made some progress converting Germany to Norse culture.) A good start on a future Dane-Law, although at the moment I own somewhat more Dane-Law than actual Denmark. Additionally, this raiding brought Odin's moral authority up above 50%; since Clone currently holds three holy sites, I expect a reformation any year now.

    I supplied snakes and manure for several of the plots against the various Karlings, and was thus instrumental in the falling-apart of the Empire; once it was gone, I joined Clone's Scandinavia, the better to stand united against the followers of the White Christ. I fought several wars to expand my rule, with varying success. My western border is on the Rhine, in that I hold Mainz and Køln, but my subjugation war against Pomerania ran into some difficulty when I died in the middle of it, became feudal (I think this was bugged, and intend to edit it back), and lost my tribal army. Embarrassing, the more so when the aforementioned Rhine cities chose that moment to rise in Catholic revolt, which it took the united resources of the whole Scandinavian empire to put down. Nevertheless this was done, and the oak groves hung heavy with priests and other outside agitators for a year afterwards.

    I lost two rulers this session, and the current incumbent is unfortunately not the most frightening dragon-head in the ship-shed:






    Deaths of Olaf and Arni.



    Jarl Suni; not the sharpest sword in the armoury. Not the most eugenic stud in the breeding program. Not the best example of Yngling superiority. Not the most illuminating metaphor in the library.



    Players, 825. Oddman subbing for Golle, Achab for Ziro.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
    King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, October 29, 2017 8:23:31 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Events of the third session:

  • Hornet's Nest: In search of moral authority, money, and priests to sacrifice to Odin, I raided into Vaniver's lands. Apparently this reduced his utility function below a satisficing threshold, for he raised a really immense amount of men for such a small incursion; really, I think it might have been cheaper just to let me loot the place. I retreated my raiders into Sweden, and Vaniver besieged Holstein for a month, until he realised that he was only hostile with my army, not my provinces - and also he was taking 20% attrition.
  • Years of Wolf and Raven: Like me in earlier campaigns, Clonefusion has found that it's one thing to conquer Scandinavia, and quite another to keep the fractious Norse united. We had two savage civil wars ripping through the peninsula, in addition to the wars of conquest all across the Baltic; the wolves and ravens have no cause to complain.
  • Conquest of Pommerania: With much levying of tribal armies, I was finally able to bring Pommerania to heel.
  • Schrödinger's Courage: King Arni, leading his army in battles against Pommeranians, Saxons, Norsemen, Poles, and Bavarians, had much opportunity to meditate on what happens to a human body when sharp metal is stuck through it; twice, in the heat of battle, he found his courage fading and gained the Craven trait. But, through focus on war and prayers to Odin, he also lost the trait twice, and was again leading the army in the epic Relief of Holstein and the ensuing Baltic March.
  • Gå Fjæra Hjem: There is a joke, which is in Norwegian and relies on cultural knowledge; it is probably not very funny to people who didn't grow up in Norway in the second half of the twentieth century. In truth, even I, born a generation and a half later than its originator, and in a different area of the country, don't find it that amusing. But although I don't expect anyone to laugh, it may give some freshness to my tired old slogan about jokes and winter in Norway; so I'm translating it anyway as context. The story goes that, during the war (incidentally, even after two generations and much fighting, there is still exactly one "the war" in Norway, and I think in most of Europe as well), some men are sitting in a boat-hut in northern Norway, sharing a bottle and cursing the occupying Germans, as one does. Buoyed by liquid courage and camaraderie, each one details the vengeance they'll take when the war is over, each one more dreadful than the last. At last the word comes around to Fridtjof, who has been quiet, and his friends egg him on to see what awful fate he can come up with to top Vegard's blood eagle. Fridtjof moves his chaw around in his mouth, spits thoughtfully, and slowly drawls, "Waal, ah don't care so all-fired mich about it. But ah do think, when the war is over, Jerry should kindly hafta walk the beach home".

    From this we can infer, presumably, that it's no joke to walk a Norwegian beach, filled as it is with treacherous sinkholes, flotsam, jetsam, laggan, and derelict, hardy little thornbush scrubs that clutch at your ankles and tear up your shins, and vicious seabirds that will defend their nests to the death. And, of course, the fiords make the trip vastly longer than it would be if you could just take a damn boat. In actual fact, the Wehrmacht garrison went home by train and then took ship across the Kattegat. In this respect they were luckier than my army. After my glorious victory in the Relief of Holstein, where each side mustered more than five thousand men, the shattered remnants of the army of the false "Kingdom of Saxony" retreated north across the Sound, with my tribal levies in hot pursuit. Unfortunately I had overestimated the stopping power of the defenses in the core of my overlord's kingdom - Clone was, at this time, engaged in some fairly serious fighting against the wild Finns and against his own rebellious vassals - and the Saxons walked right through, crossed the Baltic at Åland, and got home to their Estonian capital unharmed. My own army was, of course, still in hot pursuit, and by now considerably bigger; so the Saxons, not particularly wanting to fight, marched south - towards Holstein. And that's how my tribal levies came to complete a walking tour of the Baltic beaches.




    Player map, 849. Note James and Hadogei both moved to Anatolia, and Hoonter quit from Catalonia, leaving a much less colourful western Europe; Vaniver and Dragoon have both released kingdoms in accordance with our realm-size limit, so that in terms of dynasties the coverage is more complete than it looks. Note also Clonefusion not in control of Norway, whose fractious lords are on their third revolt of the session.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, November 05, 2017 12:45:18 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Events of the fourth session.

    [list]
  • Rebirth of the Old Gods: Clone reformed the Germanic religion.
  • Asturian War: I fought off an attack by AI Asturias trying to push my border back to the Elbe.
  • Among the Savage Balts: Looking to fill his council with supporters, and take advantage of that 20 Martial, Clone made me Marshal, promising not to use me to lead troops. Then he died... and in the ensuing chaos, raised an army, forgetting that I was no longer assigned to training troops. Naturally, I was immediately captured by a one-province Baltic count, and had to ransom myself at vast expense.
  • More Schrödinger's Courage: Arni managed to gain and lose Craven one more time before his death, making three cycles in his life.
  • Freie...: Reaching the size limit, Clonefusion released me to my own devices.
  • ...und Hanse Stadt Holstein: Free at last, I almost immediately formed a Merchant Republic, which somewhat drastically weakened me. I can no longer call up a tribal army, my levies dropped dramatically since I'm now getting city-castle-temple levies with almost no upgrades instead of tribal levies with lots of upgrades and the empty-holding bonus, and I have yet to build up a large trade zone or a powerful House. Still, it had to be done sooner or later, as the tribal strengths decrease relative to feudals with every passing decade; as well to do it as soon as possible, to give myself time to grow.
  • Danish Karma: The ruler of Jylland somehow became a Hindu, and managed to convert his county as well! I wasn't able to assassinate him, but did take him on a raiding expedition as commander of the right flank; he promptly got captured, and is no longer first in line to inherit the Dogeship of Holstein. Unfortunately his heir is also Hindu.
  • Trade Law: As respectable, reputable merchants, the Ynglinga Hanse of course recognises the importance of property, and does not go raiding wherever the wind might take them. Indeed, so important is property to them, that when order breaks down in other countries, they devote considerable resources to helping the rightful rulers protect the possessions of their subjects. For example, when northern England was in revolt, dragon-headed Hanse ships immediately appeared in the Humber, whence they sent out surveying parties (perforce, these surveyors were heavily armed, to protect themselves from the banditry that is rife in unsettled times) to write down who owned what in the area, and then take all the moveable goods back to Germany. This was of course done purely so that the law-abiding majority of the English subjects in the revolting area would not have their possessions stolen by the rebels and used against their rightful sovereign; we feel certain that we materially shortened the campaign to bring down the rebels, by denying them supplies and support. The English can recover their goods, or an equivalent value in gold, by coming to Holstein and filling out forms F-97a, G20, and A2320 (in triplicate and German). This is to ensure that each cow, ducat, and slave is returned to the rightful owner; F-97a certifies the petitioner's identity, G20 allows us to match them against our own bookkeeping system, and finally A2320 is to actually return the goods. Be aware that G20 requires the petitioner to provide their assigned case number, which our surveying parties would have informed them of. Regrettably some of surveyors may have been a little unclear in their instructions, in part due to the surprising amount of arrows they encountered; we apologise for this lapse in customer service.
    [/list]



    The death of Suni. In addition to being Infirm and Diligent, he had lost an eye, a hand, and his wits; though he only got around to appointing Glitterhoof chancellor twice. If I'd known Vaniver was going to enter a contest for most horses appointed, I would have unseated the horse a couple more times.



    Player map, 879. Note the revolt against Golle in England, apparent power vacuum in Germany due to Yami Fenrir being away, and new player in Aquitaine.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, November 12, 2017 5:27:41 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Events of the fifth session:

  • The Death of Princes: Having accumulated 1000 prestige, I converted Ulfr to Norse, and demanded the conversion of my heir, Bersi, who immediately agreed. This done, I was ready to get rid of Ulfr, whose Depression clearly arose from contemplating his stats. Unfortunately, I forgot to pump up my election fund before hitting the suicide button, and lost the Grand Princedom for a few years. Even aside from this, it was not a good session for the Ynglings; I lost two other Grand Princes, and in only one of these three deaths did I manage to win the election.





    Deaths of Ulfr, Bersi, and Asbjørn. Note the lost titles for Ulfr and Asbjørn.


  • Ut! Ut! Ut!: Around 890, the British Isles were in their usual state of meltdown: Both England and Scotland were aflame with rebellion, which was interfering with trade. Despairing of restoring order only through raiding the rebel strongholds, I reluctantly decided that a firm hand was needed; if the kings of Britain could not keep sufficient order in their own houses that an honest merchant could make an honest profit without worrying about bandits, why then the honest merchant would have to keep it for them. I therefore fired up the Kingdom Subjugation CB that our mod adds, against Scotland. (This CB, we later learned, does not work as we thought - when used against the Scandinavian Empire, targeting the Kingdom of Denmark, it handed over the Empire title! Currently it looks like we'll just remove it from the mod. But Scotland is only one king title anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered. ) With mercenaries, my army came to four thousand; the Scots could muster three thousand and some random AI stacks of a few hundred, and the Scots rebels were also about three thousand. I had occupied the crown lands surrounding the Firth of Forth and was well on my way to victory when 8000 English troops jumped into the war, Golle having settled his own rebels and being for some reason unwilling to have Ynglings as neighbours. At the same time Bohemia declared war for a border county and crossed the Elbe with five thousand men. Shortly thereafter the English captured my capital and some of my relatives with it, and were able to force peace; the reparations put me in the red and my mercenaries deserted, and I signed over the disputed county to Bohemia and went off in a sulk to raid Livonia.



  • The Saxon Crusade: As soon as Crusades were enabled, before any human (including Dragoon, nominally Papal Controller) could react, the AI Pope sprang into action. Demonstrating all its usual fine understanding of geopolitics (in particular, it understood that a Norse ruler held the holy grove at Braunschweig), it immediately found the target that would do most do demonstrate the might of the White Christ and the God of Hosts: Saxony, land of the knife-men. I had lost the Dogeship for the second time in the session, but it could hardly have mattered; the Pope himself had fifteen thousand men, and Bretonnia and Leon both joined. Dragoon, perhaps annoyed at this opportunism, offered to excommunicate Vaniver and thus remove Bretonnia from the war; in hindsight this would not have mattered, but at the time I did not know of the army the Pope had raised. I paid him 400 gold, and the Breton emperor was duly excommunicated; but, forewarned, he had raised his own Pope from some random French bishop, and was able to remain in the field. There is currently a war to settle just who is Pope in this here religion anyway, but that does me little good: With the core Saxon lands gone, Denmark was broken and scattered to the four winds.



    Call me a pessimist, but that doesn't look very winnable.


  • A Broken, Scattered Band: Denmark is now a Republic - not a Merchant Republic, but the unplayable kind. I was relegated to my old title of Holstein, which did manage to survive as a Merchant Republic, but currently this power comprises Sjælland and Norfolk - and Norfolk is under siege by some random count who declared a Holy War for East Anglia against what's left of Denmark.



    What's left of Denmark. Still, not all is lost: The Ynglings have been defeated and driven into exile before, and survived by their wits and readiness with a knife. Western Europe is divided among many rulers; and in the East is still land for the taking.

    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • King of Men
    Posted: Sunday, December 03, 2017 6:09:35 AM
     Legatus legionis

    One Year Membership MedalTwo Year Membership Medal

    Joined: 11/23/2007
    Posts: 8,393
    Location: Nowhere
    Corporate Merger

    Events of the sixth session:

  • The Wolfpack Gathers: After the disastrous Saxon Crusade, Denmark was drastically reduced in power, and every one-province count from the Weser to the Vistula gathered around to feed on, as they thought, the corpse. In the main I was able to fend them off, sending raiders as far afield as Kiev in search of income not protected by large empires. But the steady drain of constant war against two to four counts at once, depending on who I'd recently been able to siege down, meant that I could not improve my position either by building or by expanding.
  • The Great Heathen Army: Clonefusion, meanwhile, was having somewhat better luck. After a lengthy buildup of his strength, he launched a Great Holy War for England with about 24000 men, to which I joined my 4000 - partly for the greater glory of Odin, and partly because England is a rich target for raiding and if their army was going to be busy, I might as well spend some time in the area checking out the monasteries and other tourist attractions. Unfortunately, Gollevainen was eventually able to gather together over thirty thousand men, mostly by the use of Holy Orders - there are, of course, no HOs in a Norse army; our camp followers are all women of virtue. It seemed to me that some swift maneuvering by Clone's doomstack might have brought victory even so, as the English army was not fully concentrated when it came into visibility; but for whatever reason Clone left his Great Heathen Army besieging London, and was thrown back into the sea.
  • Throwing the Fattest One Out of the Sled: At length, frustrated by my inability to either end the wars against my liege, or get any advantage from being under Denmark, I declared war for independence. This is still ongoing at the end of the session, but only a matter of time.
  • Shareholder Revolt: However, the Holstein Independence War - which is, let's observe, a war of a three-province merchant republic against a five-province oligarchic republic - is about to become entirely irrelevant. Clone, frustrated with his immense bad luck with ruler lifetimes, has decided to "spend more time with his family" and "improve his golf handicap", leaving the Norse Empire without a CEO at a time of great difficulty. The recent antitrust blocking of the acquisition of a competing concern - intended to restore the company's flagging fortunes by unleashing a cross-North-Sea synergy - has left the empire without a strategy for restoring competitiveness, and both the board's trust in the CEO and the shareholders' trust in the board have been weakened; there are even rumours that a cut in the dividend has been considered as a way to conserve a "war chest" for future operational expenditures.
  • Corporate Merger: Fortunately, the Board has found a candidate willing to step in and undertake a turnaround, even in these difficult circumstances; a man of great experience in guiding Norse Republics who have fallen upon hard times. The new CEO has stated that he will return the empire to its foundational competencies of aggressive cross-border marketing, corporate raiding, and involuntary labour management. There may be an implicit critique here of the previous chief's commitment to grand acquisition schemes, a suggestion that these glorious visions led him to take the eyes off the ball of actually making money from the company's fundamental strengths. Whether or not this is so, any reciprocal mutterings about "rats leaving a sinking ship" will be grounds for discipline up to and including immediate termination [1].

    [1] Please note, when an Yngling uses the word 'termination', he is not talking about your employment. And yes, the Scandinavian Empire is an at-will state.



    Players 935, excepting Vaniver who was absent this session, and Sauron and Ziro who both left before I could take the screenshot. So, to be more accurate, two-thirds of the players in 935.


    Read my blog.
    Norway Rome The Khanate Scotland Scotinavia Christendie the Serene Republic has always been at war with the Bretons False Empire Caliphate Persians Russians English Hungarians Oceanians Saracen Jackal! Death, death, death to the Frogs barbarians infidels necromancers vodka-drinking hegemonists Sassenach nomad menace Yellow Menace heathen Great Old One!
  • Users browsing this topic
    Guest


    Forum Jump
    You cannot post new topics in this forum.
    You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
    You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
    You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
    You cannot create polls in this forum.
    You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

    Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.0 (NET v2.0) - 10/10/2006
    Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.
    Copyright © 2005-2007 Daniel "Lord Ederon" Scibrany. All rights reserved.